


i’m running out of hope and time

by grace13star



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Hurt Peter, Illusions, Paranoia, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, technically holograms but whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 23:49:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19800319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grace13star/pseuds/grace13star
Summary: **MAJOR SPOILERS FOR SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME**in the end, what really stuck to him was how easy it was.one fight, one battle was all it took and suddenly he was spilling his guts out- all about mj and his plan, about mr stark and EDITH.he’d thought maybe this one would be different.





	i’m running out of hope and time

**Author's Note:**

> hey y’all. just saw ffh and this was stuck in my head so i wrote it out in twenty minutes. 
> 
> this does focus heavily on the manipulations and gaslighting that were present in the movie, so if that makes you uncomfortable you probably shouldn't read this. 
> 
> while i have been manipulated before, it’s never been anything on par with this, so if i made any mistakes please tell me. or don’t, cause this was a spur of the moment kind of thing. 
> 
> anyways, enjoy!
> 
> title is from dead mom from beetlejuice the musical

in the end, what really stuck to him was how easy it was. 

one fight, one battle was all it took and suddenly he was spilling his guts out- all about mj and his plan, about mr stark and EDITH. 

he’d thought maybe this one would be different. 

richard parker, ben parker, tony stark. 

all three were like fathers to him, and all three were dead. 

he’d thought maybe mysterio- no, beck, he doesn’t deserve a superhero name- could have been at least a confidant. maybe something more eventually. his humor reminded peter of ben. 

then, mj showed him the projector and he felt the world crashing down around him. 

berlin came next, with all of its pain, and what was it about germany that made people want to kill him?

in some ways the way beck implied that he was at fault for tony’s death hurt worse than the train. 

he couldn’t close his eyes without seeing the tombstone, and the decaying gauntlet pushing through the dirt, the hollow eye sockets that used to be so full of life staring into him, coming closer and closer even as he scrambled back, desperate to get away. 

your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your

why did he have to be so gullible? he was tired and disoriented, and he told fury- beck- his friends names and he put them in danger and it was all his fault.

he pulled himself off the bottom of the train, reaching with bloody fingers, willing himself to hang on until he was safe, even as his fingers slid and his eyelids fell closed, too heavy to stay open. 

the netherlands would have been amazing if he wasn’t so worried about his friends. 

he borrowed a phone from a nice stranger and was about to put in may’s number when he stopped. 

what if she answered but it wasn’t her? what if beck had already gotten to her?

he didn’t know if he could take that. 

his hands moved on their own and put in happy’s number. 

the jet came and happy walked off and he could feel himself relaxing in the familiar presence, but he forced himself to tense again even though every muscle in his body screamed at him to rest. 

“tell me something only you would know!” he cried, voice cracking. he knew he sounded weak and paranoid and maybe a bit crazy, but he wouldn’t let beck get him that easy- not again, he couldn’t. 

happy told him about the pay-per-view and he felt tears start to leak from his eyes, even as he cut happy off. 

he limped forwards and pulled happy into a hug, not even minding the other man’s tenseness, just relishing in the fact that he could touch him and feel him and make absolute sure he was real. 

but then happy was stitching him up and telling him to relax and he exploded because how could he relax when he’d just doomed the world and doomed his friends and it was all his fault, your fault your fault-

“everywhere i go, i see his face,” he said, trying not to let the tears in his eyes fall. 

“tony was a mess,” happy said. “he always second guessed himself. there was only one thing he didn’t second guess himself on and that was picking you.”

happy understood. he had been one of tony’s best friends. he knew what kind of hole someone like tony stark could leave in your life. 

“you’re all alone and you’ve got no tech,” happy said. “so what are you going to do?”

and peter could feel a smile coming onto his face, and he silently promised himself that beck would not be able to fool him again, and he felt a tickling sensation on the base of his neck. 

peter tingle, he remembered may saying. 

“i’m gonna kick his ass.”

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this from memory, so sorry if the dialogue isn’t right. i tried. 
> 
> i welcome all comments and i love hearing from you guys. thanks for reading!


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